Jabwikmipafbast is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous mouse.

Jabwikmipafbast created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabwikmipafbast, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jabwikmipafbast, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jabwikmipafbast's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jabwikmipafbast's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Jabwikmipafbast must be the most important thing in your life.