Bemzakmat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking unicorn.

Bemzakmat created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bemzakmat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bemzakmat, he will remove you from existence.

Bemzakmat's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bemzakmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bemzakmat.

5. Erect five lead sculptures of Bemzakmat on top of important buildings.