Queeghabsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, calm cat.

Queeghabsaw created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Queeghabsaw, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Queeghabsaw, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Queeghabsaw's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Queeghabsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Queeghabsaw loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Queeghabsaw must be the most important thing in your life.