Dobfittin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, deceitful lizard.

Dobfittin created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobfittin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dobfittin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dobfittin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Dobfittin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not hurt rats.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must pray to Dobfittin three times a day.