Ruttagrig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish swallow.

Ruttagrig created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttagrig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ruttagrig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ruttagrig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ruttagrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.