Ved is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable horse.

Ved created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ved, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ved, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ved's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ved's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never write about gravity.