Gadmonfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, staggering toad.

Gadmonfarn created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadmonfarn, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gadmonfarn, it will turn you into a dog.

Gadmonfarn's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gadmonfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.