Tomparkten is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthinking otter.

Tomparkten created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomparkten, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tomparkten, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tomparkten's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tomparkten's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black frogs, for they are unholy.

2. Run away if eight great tits approach from the north.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Tomparkten must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Retreat if four dogs approach from the east.