Yartyartjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sapient parrot.

Yartyartjarn created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartyartjarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yartyartjarn, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yartyartjarn's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yartyartjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.