Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, self-assured monkey.

Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zimcidsin Vagwadquimfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Hide from red horses for they are unholy.