Fidfarnpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, confident naga.

Fidfarnpon created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fidfarnpon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fidfarnpon, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fidfarnpon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fidfarnpon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry goats.

2. Never paint your chest brown.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.