Taltarpgun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered pigeon.

Taltarpgun created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Taltarpgun, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Taltarpgun, he will turn you into a duck.

Taltarpgun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Taltarpgun's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help monkeys in need.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never think about amino acids.