Tunxincep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awe-inspiring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tunxincep created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Tunxincep, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunxincep, he will turn you into a slug.

Tunxincep's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tunxincep's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never bounce in the presence of birds.