Vonhunbig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful bear.

Vonhunbig created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonhunbig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonhunbig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Vonhunbig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vonhunbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray immersed in water.