Barngemtarg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient wombat.

Barngemtarg created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Barngemtarg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Barngemtarg, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Barngemtarg's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Barngemtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Barngemtarg seven times a day.