Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonourable elephant.

Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always obey Bellmitpandinmat Tanwiktankik's priests.