Sitgabgen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic parrot.

Sitgabgen created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitgabgen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sitgabgen, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Sitgabgen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Sitgabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away from pink hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Never talk about comets.