Getfatcub is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, loving jackal.

Getfatcub created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getfatcub, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Getfatcub, it will cry a lot.

Getfatcub's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Getfatcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat voles with great respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never paint your neck brown.

5. Put Getfatcub first in all things.