Hadmaddag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic sheep.

Hadmaddag created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadmaddag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hadmaddag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hadmaddag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hadmaddag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Run away from fawn hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.