Ruttwitxin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring crab.

Ruttwitxin created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttwitxin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttwitxin, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ruttwitxin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ruttwitxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never wear pink shirts.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not cook food in pots.