Hitlanfab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonourable jellyfish.

Hitlanfab created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Hitlanfab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hitlanfab, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hitlanfab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hitlanfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Do not chop down trees.