Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking jellyfish.

Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gutwoddossbotcutquimvenhas Dampitmat Danpidjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.