Fumvonkkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, capable warg.

Fumvonkkap created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumvonkkap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fumvonkkap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fumvonkkap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fumvonkkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck blue.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Respect your elders.