Yatvinnig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, annoying snail.

Yatvinnig created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatvinnig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yatvinnig, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yatvinnig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yatvinnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head yellow.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Do not hurt rats.

5. Never go into blue rooms.