Tafzamwip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, bad-tempered beaver.

Tafzamwip created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafzamwip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tafzamwip, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tafzamwip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tafzamwip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tafzamwip.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.