Pangappfon Hogtarpgep is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, passionate gnu.

Pangappfon Hogtarpgep created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangappfon Hogtarpgep, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pangappfon Hogtarpgep, he will turn you into a tree.

Pangappfon Hogtarpgep's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Pangappfon Hogtarpgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Hide if eight doves approach from the south.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never run near aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.