Gudmintom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid otter.

Gudmintom created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudmintom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gudmintom, he will be mildly annoyed.

Gudmintom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gudmintom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Do not stand on grass.