Stafshavwit is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective cow.

Stafshavwit created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafshavwit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafshavwit, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stafshavwit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Stafshavwit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Stafshavwit.

2. Never feed parsnips to tortoises while wearing brown ear rings.

3. Retreat if five badgers approach from the east.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stafshavwit.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.