Fligmatsom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, proud bird.

Fligmatsom created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fligmatsom, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fligmatsom, he will turn you into a frog.

Fligmatsom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fligmatsom's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fligmatsom.

3. Never hurt doves.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.