Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, sage otter.

Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin, it will turn you into a slug.

Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hadbifwik Ponyarfen Teenvogkin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.