Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, vain shrew.

Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Worship no other gods but Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zimrigbogjarnbunminbam Gupominbonk.

5. Respect your elders.