Zigtadab Taflinvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring swallow.

Zigtadab Taflinvab created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Zigtadab Taflinvab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zigtadab Taflinvab, he will torture you forever.

Zigtadab Taflinvab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zigtadab Taflinvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look at stars.