Cepyarmad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless deer.

Cepyarmad created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Cepyarmad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cepyarmad, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cepyarmad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Cepyarmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.