Hotnarttag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful coyote.

Hotnarttag created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hotnarttag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hotnarttag, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hotnarttag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Hotnarttag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hotnarttag's name in vain.

2. Always wear red.

3. Never feed gooseberries to ducks while wearing purple shirts.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.