Tifyartgedbegsan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, wise otter.

Tifyartgedbegsan created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifyartgedbegsan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifyartgedbegsan, she will make you grow a tail.

Tifyartgedbegsan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tifyartgedbegsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. You must pray to Tifyartgedbegsan five times a day.

4. Never paint your hands red.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.