Hapzedflig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, intelligent squirrel.

Hapzedflig created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapzedflig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hapzedflig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hapzedflig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hapzedflig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Hapzedflig on top of important buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never go into brown rooms.