Narlmilmum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sapient cat.

Narlmilmum created the Sol system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlmilmum, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Narlmilmum, he will send you a sign.

Narlmilmum's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Narlmilmum's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Worship no other gods but Narlmilmum.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.