Basstailfem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, moody badger.

Basstailfem created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basstailfem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Basstailfem, it will torture you forever.

Basstailfem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Basstailfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if three horses approach from the west.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.