Rullwikcan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, moody squirrel.

Rullwikcan created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Rullwikcan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rullwikcan, he will send minions to preach to you.

Rullwikcan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Rullwikcan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rullwikcan first in all things.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not laugh in public.