Jatgep Betfobxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tiresome lion.

Jatgep Betfobxuc created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatgep Betfobxuc, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jatgep Betfobxuc, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jatgep Betfobxuc's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jatgep Betfobxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide if nine snails approach from the east.