Ruttjadhivpansag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, irritating weasel.

Ruttjadhivpansag created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjadhivpansag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ruttjadhivpansag, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Ruttjadhivpansag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ruttjadhivpansag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs indigo.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the east.

4. Do not take Ruttjadhivpansag's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to music.