Tarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical guinea pig.

Tarp created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarp, he will destroy your home planet.

Tarp's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Never paint your hands gray.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarp.