Flat Botbablarg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, strong newt.

Flat Botbablarg created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flat Botbablarg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flat Botbablarg, he will turn you into a rat.

Flat Botbablarg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Flat Botbablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green goats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not jump in public.