Tungumzog Nulbisscat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty dove.

Tungumzog Nulbisscat created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tungumzog Nulbisscat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tungumzog Nulbisscat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Tungumzog Nulbisscat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tungumzog Nulbisscat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to swans while wearing pink skirts.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Run away if nine aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Do not kill sheep.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.