Flagmanbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil gerbil.

Flagmanbaf created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagmanbaf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flagmanbaf, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flagmanbaf's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flagmanbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.