Funcincusslisthitpad is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful crow.

Funcincusslisthitpad created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funcincusslisthitpad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funcincusslisthitpad, she will remove you from existence.

Funcincusslisthitpad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Funcincusslisthitpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Funcincusslisthitpad loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat bark.