Flowfarsasgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable manatee.

Flowfarsasgeb created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowfarsasgeb, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowfarsasgeb, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flowfarsasgeb's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flowfarsasgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Flowfarsasgeb.

5. Always pray immersed in water.