Wipzagpag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, pitiless lion.

Wipzagpag created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipzagpag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wipzagpag, he will ignore you.

Wipzagpag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wipzagpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Never hurt birds.