Tompibmum is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered snake.

Tompibmum created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tompibmum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tompibmum, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tompibmum's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tompibmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head indigo.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Always help bats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about geese.