Sag is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, bad-tempered aardvark.

Sag created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Sag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sag.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Put Sag first in all things.

5. Never paint your arms white.